Our Journey to Adoption

Our Journey to Adoption

David and I have always known we would adopt. We have talked about it since the beginning of our marriage 5 years ago. We knew even then that we were called to adopt. For the past 5 years we have been praying about children. We asked the Father to show us when we should start trying to add to our family. We prayed asking Him to show us if we were to adopt first or have biological children first. After years of prayer we began trying for biological children first. 

We felt that God was saying it was the right time and we had total peace. After only 2 months of actively trying we conceived. We were ecstatic and could not wait to welcome this baby into our family.  However, after only 5 short weeks our little baby was taken to Heaven. We had a miscarriage in December 2011. If you would like to read more about our story and our journey to healing of the loss of our precious baby girl Abigail you can visit my other blog at www.thefatherisrejoicing.blogspot.com

After many months of grieving the loss of Abigail and the struggle to conceive we both began praying about the Father’s direction for us and the children He desires for our family.  We went to many doctor’s appointments and had several tests ran to discover why we were not conceiving. So far we are checking out perfectly healthy and there seems to be no physical reason we are not conceiving, which is a huge praise.
As we continued on our journey we both began feeling that since there was no physical reason we weren’t conceiving there must be a spiritual one. At first I resolved to think that God was teaching us to be patient, wait, trust Him, let Him be in control, to let go, and to surrender my desires back to Him.  While I know all of this is true I couldn’t shake the feeling that that wasn’t all God was showing us.

In May of 2012 David and I began praying about adopting sooner than we had planned. We both began praying daily and researching adoption information. At this point neither of us told the other one that we were laboring over this call to adopt. In July of 2012 when we found out we were not pregnant yet again Dave sat down next to me on the bed to console me and asked, “Have you thought about adopting sooner rather than later?” 

We both shared our stories of how we had been praying and researching with each other. We felt God was telling us to take a step toward adoption in faith. We consulted several people in our lives that we consider spiritual mentors and they were all very encouraging and affirming. We had only been trying to conceive for 7 months at this point, which we realize is a short period of time, so we expected most people to tell us we were crazy and that we should try for a lot longer before considering adoption. But, we were pleasantly surprised when everyone we spoke to, including our families, was nothing but supportive.

For us adoption is not a last resort to have a baby. We do not see it as we have tried but can’t conceive so I guess we will adopt. We view it as an honor and a high calling. When we read Scriptures such as James 1:27 which says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world,” and Isaiah 1:17 which says, “Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.” our hearts are so overwhelmingly burdened we can’t not move. We can’t just sit back and think someone else will do that. We know that adoption is not the only way to look after the orphans but it is the way in which God has called us to do what His Scripture commands all of us to do and we couldn’t be more thrilled.

So, we felt like God was telling us to take a step in faith and move forward. We talked with a dear friend of mine who just recently started working for an adoption agency and asked her what our next step should be. She told us how to apply and then informed us that she would actually be our social worker. We weren’t expecting that because she lives about an hour and a half away. We took that as more confirmation that God was saying, “Yes! You are going in the right direction.”  

We filled out our application and sent it off with much prayer. We prayed that God would open the door if this was the right timing or shut it if it wasn’t.  As I was praying though I kept thinking, “why would God ever shut the door on His children wanting to obey Him and take care of the orphans?”  Three days later we received a call from the agency telling us they had our application and that they would email us our home study packet.

We were surprised at how fast the process was going at this point. I thought it would take weeks to even get the information to do a home study. We began filling out the large amount of paperwork and set up our first home study meeting with my friend.  

We turned in our application on a Wednesday and that following Sunday our church announced that they were starting and adoption fund to help families in the church adopt and that their goal was to give each family $5,000 towards their adoption. We were shocked. We both stared at each other in disbelief. It is in those moments that I realize how small my faith is. We prayed for God to provide, confirm His call, open doors and here He is answering and I’m surprised? We definitely took that as confirmation that this was exactly what we were supposed to be doing. 

As we were informed more and more about the adoption process we discovered that it would cost an estimated $30,000 to adopt. At first this seemed scary and overwhelming but God has made it very clear that He is in control and that He will provide for us.  He has already proven in small ways and some big ways that He in going to provide. 

This step of obedience to answer the call to adopt has been one of the most rewarding and challenging decisions I have ever made.  As I mentioned, I have always wanted to adopt. Even as a child I remember thinking about it and being interested in it, but when it came to actually proceeding forward it wasn’t easy.
I had in mind a different scenario. My scenario was good. In fact, my “perfect” plan included the sacrifice and challenge of adoption too. But it didn’t look like this. It didn’t involve the loss of our first biological child. It didn’t involve a 10 month struggle with fertility. It didn’t involve many sleepless nights agonizing over the loss and the decision at hand about adoption. It didn’t involve any of those things. My plan was much easier with much less scary unknowns. I planned to have a two or three incredibly adorable and well behaved biological children first. Then when we had saved up enough money, learned how to do the parenting thing, we would adopt a child internationally.  That was the plan. Sounds pretty good to me.

But God has something different and something so much better in mind. It has not been easy laying down my desires and my plans to follow Him. I had to come to a point of total surrender. I remember laying on the ground in our back yard weeping as I handed all of this to God. I finally gave up the fight for my plans and I am so glad that I did. It is still hard some days but I am reminded of the truth of God’s word which says in Proverbs 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps.”  I had planned my course but I am so glad God determined my steps. 

This decision, this journey has so far required the most faith of any step in my Christian walk. I am sure God will only continue to deepen mine and David’s faith as we look to Him to guide us each step of our adoption journey from the paper work stage to the day we bring home baby to the day we send baby to college. It will be a life long journey, but I’m so glad God has called us to. To Him be the glory.