He's Here!!

My arms were the first that held him. My heart was ready to bust. I had waited for this moment for a long time. I have always wanted to be a mommy. I remember toting around my cabbage patch dolls telling my mother that I wanted 10 kids. To nurture the way a mother is designed to nurture just seemed like it was welling up inside of me. Almost as if I didn’t have a child to nurture soon I would just die. So, there he was. My very own cabbage patch doll. Except I got to name this one.

I named that baby boy from Alabama, Benjamin David. In my conversation with T she said she wanted me to name him. I already had a few names picked out, but Benjamin was my favorite. When I held him I knew he was a Benjamin. Benjamin means wanted or favored son and David, his middle name, means God's beloved.  His name holds great meaning. He is a very loved, very wanted little man and a very special member of the family.

I spent the next few moments in amazement. The last few hours has seemed like a whirlwind. I kept asking myself, “Is he really here?” “Is he really mine?” “Did that just happen?” I spent a few hours in that little room holding my son. Gazing into the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. Ben was so alert the first few hours of his life. He was wide eyed and looking all around, trying to figure out what was going on.

I spent those few hours singing to him, praying over him, reading Scripture to him, and praising God for this miracle, this gift. He was perfect. His eyes were beaming, his nose was so cute, his lips were adorable, his tiny little face was too cute for words, his dark black hair was beautiful, his skin tone was absolutely gorgeous, his little sounds were too precious for this momma’s heart to handle, everything about him was amazing. I could have stared at him for hours. I could have held him in my arms and never let him go.

I thought back to a few short days ago when I first heard of the little baby boy in Alabama. Now I was holding that baby boy. I was staring into his eyes and singing praise over him. He was here and he was mine. Be still my heart.

I was assisted by a wonderful nurse, G. She was incredible. She whisked me out of the delivery room across the hall to a private room with the biggest smile on her face. When the door was shut behind us she said she had no idea I was the adoptive parents until right after the birth. I assumed she knew, I assumed the whole staff knew, but apparently I was a surprise to them. Nonetheless, they were incredible. Everyone treated me with such kindness and hospitality.

G went over his stats with me and the process from here. She got a private room set up at the hospital to stay in for the next few days and made sure I had a band on my arm that gave me access to the nursery. Around my arm was a hospital band with Ben’s birth mother’s name on it and the number that identified him. I was wearing her name. We were his mothers. We played different roles and will always play different roles but I felt honored to share that responsibility with her and wear her name.

After G went over some information she just stared at me. I looked up to see a twinkle in her eye and she said, “Now I’m just being nosey.  What agency did you use?” I began telling some of Ben’s story and she said, “I have been dealing with fertility issues for many years and my husband and I just started and adoption process.”  I was blown away. I have been so blessed how God has brought people across my path that have dealt with the pain of infertility or have been considering the miracle of adoption.  And here was another precious lady in the same spot right in the hospital, moments after he was born. I was able to encourage her and she said seeing a successful adoption gave her more hope.

God has already used Ben in some pretty incredible ways. It would take me days to write out all the accounts of people who have told me that they have considered adoption, dealt with infertility, etc. We have been amazed at how this little guy has already touched so many lives. God has great plans for him and I am blessed to by his mommy. What a high calling. What an honor. What a blessing.